This week I had some glitches to work out. I love how something that is an unexpected interruption to an otherwise smooth running, stress-free life provides me blogging inspiration. I also had an opportunity to work with clients who are working through some ‘glitches’ in their lives as well. Our respective glitches couldn’t have been farther apart on the spectrum of glitches if they wanted to be, and yet, undealt with, they all could become life (or business) altering.
Mine was a technological glitch associated with the launch of the course I just created for troubleshooting marriage. (Christian Marriage Trouble-Shooting 6-Week Course | Mustard Seed Coaching & Mediation) Undealt with, my glitch would have cost untold dollars wasted on marketing and promotion of a course no one could open had I not searched out and fixed the problem. I could have turned a blind eye to the issue and pretended that it wasn’t a big deal, even with friends sending me hints that not all was well with the launch (screens shots showing that the online school wasn’t published-small hints like that-lol!). I could have pretended all was well, which would have been ludicrous, and I would have been deceived. Sooner or later I would have paid a price.
My clients, on the other hand, have troubling relational habits that they wanted to eradicate, understanding that, said habits, undealt with will impact current and future relationships. I admire people of any age, having the wisdom to understand that their glitch, undealt with will grow into larger challenges down the road as life becomes more complicated with marriage and kids. I wish I had been as wise in my earlier years! I wish I had slowed down and been as introspective as they are when I was much younger and still a brunette (lol).
Early on in relationships, we often don’t have as many ‘life complicators/stressors’ to deal with in the pre-marriage/early marriage days. Not saying that life is not complicated when we are young, it most certainly can be. But as time marches on – stressors stack up. Often, we don’t have kids, mortgages, consumer debt (cars, boats, RVs, other debt associated with wants vs. needs, or simply debt associated with unwanted, unexpected life events).
Those little habits (glitches) that kind of bug us about our partners or ourselves, we think will blow over or change or pass along after we get married most often don’t. We envision a Hollywood love that will cover a multitude of those little ‘glitches’. Truth is, undealt with, those glitches add up. The molehills become a Himalayan peak over the span of time. Resentments will build, a root of bitterness will grow, we become overwhelmed and, without tools and a solid foundation, we tell ourselves that we ‘grew apart’ and we have unreconcilable differences. OR… we can give ourselves the gift of coaching early on and walk into forever with our spouses with tools to ‘nip the glitch in the bud’ while it is just a tiny weed before the tap root grows deep. If you are familiar with the aspen tree, you tend to see them in groves. If you ever were to dig them up, you would see a ‘family’. All the roots are connected. Their roots shoot off in relatively shallow soil and up from the main tree’s root pops up another sapling, and on and on and on. Like a family. Imagine if there is an ‘infection’ that happens somewhere along that first tree’s roots that spreads and then infects the whole ‘family’ of trees. Imagine the devastation that could come if that ‘glitch’ weren’t dealt with. Giving yourself the gift of pre-wedding/post-wedding coaching is an opportunity to work out the glitches and fill your medicine bag with antifungals, anti-biotics, and anti-virals so that as your life moves forward and things become more complicated, you can stop the infection before it overwhelms the relationship.
I can’t encourage you enough to work through the glitches early on-it will bless you beyond measure. Life got so much better for me once I started working through the glitches.